I’m actually turning 30 later this year – what a milestone to hit! And the first thing I can attest to is the fact that the older you get, the faster time goes by. Our parents and grandparents were right all along. Not that I would ever question them, of course. So I guess that is the first important lesson I learned, simply through getting older: parents are usually right. And I am finally mature enough to admit it, apparently. All jokes aside, there are a few things I have learned or come to realize over the past couple of years, that I wish I knew when I was younger. And by younger I don’t only mean when I was a teenager, but early 20s as well. I believe I only really “grew up” in the past 2 or 3 years. But then again, there are days where I feel like it is absolutely irresponsible of my parents to let me live in a different city, by myself. I guess I still have some growing up to do…
#1: People don’t care that much
One of the most important things I wish I knew when I was younger is the fact that most people don’t really care that much about you. Meaning: They don’t care you have a bad hair day. They don’t care what clothes you wear. They don’t care what your body looks like, if you’re skinny or not, are very muscular or not. And if they do, they are not your people and should not be in your life. Period.
#2: It’s alright to fail
I actually don’t know where it came from, but I have always been struggling to fail. In school, as well as in sports or other hobbies. Failing was not an option. The problem with this mindset: Everybody fails at something at some point in their lives. That’s just part of growing up and learning. Nowadays, I always like to comment on “mistakes” I or others make with “It’s not a mistake if you learn from it”. As long as you take away something from your mistake or failure, you got something positive out of it. Or maybe somebody else was able to learn from your mistake. Either way, failing at something can be really helpful.
#3: You don’t have to be liked by everybody
No matter how good a person you think you are, there is going to be someone who doesn’t like you. For whatever reason. Maybe they think you are too nice and can’t be trusted. For a long time, I tried everything within my power to win over people that didn’t like me – or maybe didn’t want to like me. Let’s just say it didn’t go particularly well. Now I have come to the conclusion that just because somebody doesn’t like you, it doesn’t make you a bad person. It’s probably just that you two aren’t compatible, for whatever reason. And if you’re being honest to yourself, you can probably think of a person or two that you don’t like either. Don’t stress about it, just move on. Don’t change the things you don’t want to change.
#4: Don’t take everything so seriously
This one is directed more to my early 20-year-old self, because I don’t think I took things too seriously when I was in school. What I mean by that is that when I was at Uni, I would be sooo determined to do well academically. Especially with my Masters degree. While that alone surely isn’t a bad thing, it becomes one when you start sacrificing other things for it. I was so focused on getting the best grades that I turned down everything else. Going out with friends, dates, trips, etc. I would get up at silly o’clock in the morning to go to the gym, then be at my desk studying away a couple of hours later. And of course, I would stay up super late to revise. Not necessarily what most would call a super fulfilled life.
To be fair, I did get good grades. You want to know what though? Nobody has EVER asked me about those grades. I started freelancing at my first job when I was still at Uni, and after I graduated they took me on full time. Did they want to see all my good grades? No. Now for my second job, they didn’t even ask for my diploma. All they wanted to know was what I did at that first job. Lesson learned: Take your education seriously, but don’t forget to have a life as well!
#5: Don’t listen to anyone
Okay, maybe not anyone… What I mean by that is simply that I was sooo impressionable when I was younger, around 18 to 22 years old. I would take what others – mainly (fitness) influencers – said for gospel. I didn’t question it. All I wanted was to look like them, and in my mind, all it took for me to achieve that goal was to do what they did. Work out like them. Eat like them. That kind of thing. Needless to say, it didn’t work. Because most of the people I looked up to didn’t really know what they were talking about either. (I already touched on this in this post). They had just heard it from another influencer and passed it on.
I didn’t know that of course, in my mind, it was all my fault. I failed the diet or the workout or the whatever. Looking back now, having studied sport sciences since and thus knowing a lot more, I know that it wasn’t my fault. And a lot of the times I wish I could go back, shake my younger self and tell her to wake up. I can’t, but I can definitely do better now. And be a lot kinder to myself.
Thanks for reading everyone, this was a bit more of a personal post for me. I hope you found it helpful, maybe it made you think in a way as well. If you have anything to add, please do so in the comments!
Lots of Love,
Lena